I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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