I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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