Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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