just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
