chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
