I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
