Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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