we're blogging at a bar
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
