You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
