She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And my parents said I crawled through the house
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
