I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
