I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
