Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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