Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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