Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
