dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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