NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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