google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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