i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
