If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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