i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
