I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
