It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
