Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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