You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
