she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
