Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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