Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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