I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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