What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
