Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
