dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Rumble strips road head = magical
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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