Jerry, you need to find god
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Randomize
