I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
