I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
dude. I can hear the air.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
