Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
