I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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