what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
