I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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