doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I enjoy the company of your penis
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
