you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
