Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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