I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
