matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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