Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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