But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
