And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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