...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
