im six kinds of drunk right now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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