you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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