when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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