Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
