that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
