I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Floor bacon is actually really good
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
