You're so nebulous sometimes
Non-Jews are for practice
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
