Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
