He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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