Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
